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The night life of the Lahore (petty) bourgeoisie

May 29, 2012

[Draft 1]

You are a middle class Lahori. You can afford an air-conditioner (AC) or two for the infernal summer heat of Punjab. With a bit of saving and moaning you can afford to run the AC too. An AC helps you fall asleep comfortably in a cocoon of coolness right? No. There is one major thing which the manufacturers overlooked when making our AC: lack of current, voltage,  and amperes flowing from the socket.

Photo taken from enotamountainretreat

We close all the doors and keep entries and exits to a minimal, all so that, the effects of the AC will be accentuated. It takes about 20 to 30 minutes before the poor AC is able to cool things down. So let’s say from minute 21 you start to experience mountain freshness. You start to get ready to sleep hoping you will have dreams of Murree or Nathia Gali. Let’s say you are really tired and fall asleep within 15 minutes so that brings us to minute 36. You fall sleep and possibly start enjoying idyllic frolicking on the velvety lawns of Cecil Hotel, with an equally idyllic, creature of fairness and beauty.

But alas. Twenty-four (24) minutes after you fell asleep the electricity cuts out. The hour of power has expired. But that is ok.  You don’t wake up. Possibly at this point the creature of fairness, which was frolicking in your subconscious, has turned into a witch but regardless you are still asleep. In my estimation about 15 to 20 minutes after your fair creature turns into a witch you will gradually come close to consciousness and realize that it has started to get hot and the parts of your body in contact with the mattress are now sweaty. But you persevere, you tell yourself it won’t be long before the AC will start up again. Maybe, you think, its’ already been the better part of an hour. You think about increasing the speed of the ceiling fan, but since that entails getting up, laziness and your state of half sleep win and you try to return to Cecil Hotel albeit in a state of one-sided perspiration.

For sure by the 30th minute after witch appeared you are wide awake and only more sweaty. So if we include the semi-sleep this means you have now slept for (24 +30) = 54 minutes. Only 24 of which were truly enjoyable and sweat free. Now you get up turn up the fan,  get a drink of water and maybe wander outdoors. In 30 minutes time the AC will start up again and the whole process will start again until then you walk in the garden. Then you proceed to waste the precious AC time writing blog entries.

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